clop clop goes my emo heart.

Just reminding you this exists.

One of my Top 5 popular songs of the 90s.

I may like this song more now due to how hilarious I find the video.

“Lucky Now” from Ashes & Fire performed on Conan 10/10/2011, Ryan Adams

Um, why do I still love this song after more than ten years of not hearing it?

Rarely do I participate in 9/11 remembrances, but today, I feel the need to do so in a different way.

Almost every time I get together with someone from my hometown, they ask me how I feel about living in NYC and why I love it so much. I tell them the usual things. It’s busy and fast-paced, and it has everything you could want if you just take the train, and there’s always something to do, something to see, people to be with. Most of my closest friends are here, and it’s everything my hometown isn’t. What I don’t tell them, since I don’t like getting into it, is that NYC is the first place I’ve felt comfortable with myself and my life. I’ve learned to fend for myself and cope with just barely making enough money to stay here for fear of moving back in with my parents. There’s a balance of loving the company of others and still keeping time for myself all while staying busy that I don’t know I could’ve gotten elsewhere. Maybe it’s not NYC itself that did this and maybe I’ll feel this way about another place someday, but I can’t disassociate it from my growing into semi-adulthood.

That said, I do have to say this about 9/11 itself in my own personal way. As much as I hate the stupid mistakes my brother has made over the years, I’m incredibly happy he slept through his alarm clock that morning and didn’t make it to work. He may not be living up to his full potential, but at least he’s not gone. I sympathize with every single person who was not as lucky. And, really, if it weren’t for him, I’m not positive I would’ve moved here and found my home.

I’ll always love you, love New York.